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there are some things in my life that aren't going as smoothly as i hoped it would.but im happy,thankful and satisfied all the same.im happy to be at home.just me,mummy and baba.being the only child again for one more week is something that i need crucially in my life right now.i need all the attention i can lap up from my parents to mend this so called "broken heart".aside from my friends,being at home is something that's keeping me truly happy for now.im sick of bleeding.im tired of getting hurt.im sick of falling down day by day.im sick of trying to pick up the pieces and putting them back together again,only to find it shattered again the day after.im sick of crying.im sick of talking back.im sick of getting angry.so sick of talking about people and people talking about me.im just so sick of everything.there are others who are suffering even worse things than i am right now.but the weight is just too heavy to carry by myself.i still need to learn many lessons in life.

im twenty one this year.people like to call this age "the year of freedom".why?well.basically it means that ur entering an important phase in ur life called adulthood.to the people of the west,they prefer to put it this way : when u turn twenty one,the chains linking u to ur parents' rule are broken.so basically u can drink ur ass off without a care in the world or u can do whatever whenever u want at absolutely anytime.have sex anywhere anytime and any place.no parents to tell u to do this or that.i mean hypothetically u basically throw ur parents away.but to us humble people from the east,no matter what age u are,u aren't cut short from ur duties to ur family especially ur parents.the older u get,the bigger ur responsibilities.so what im trying to say here is.im proud to be brought up with such family values.nice and easy.

it's still not too late to wish myself a happy new year.happy new year princess!this year started out great.today is the twenty fifth day of january.it has been two months and nine days.still counting.im still living.im still breathing.im still smiling and sometimes laughing.all thanks to a bunch of crazy cool friends and my lovely family.Alhamdullillah.