yawn.

i'm like super tired of trying to convince you dude.so i'll just shut up and nod at everything u say.yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.so now what ? you're such a jackass you wouldn't listen to a word i say anyway.saya menerima segala fitnah anda dengan hati yang SANGAT terbuka. :))

limits.

there are only so few things in life that you can tolerate for a certain length of time and then eventually you would get fucked up when the same thing happens over and over again.i used to think i would be able to tolerate these things at least for a little while longer but being around a different crowd made me sit back and think why would i have to tolerate this immature jackassery that's been messing with my mind and heart when there are so many other things i should be doing with my life ? it wouldn't be a issue if it didn't cost me any problems.but lately it has been starting to be a pain in the ass.and it's just one time too many.back then i would just let people walk all over me and swallow whatever shit filled cupcake they feed me.i was so far from walking away.i didn't have this kind of courage before, to actually stand my ground, speak my mind and walk away.now that i do,i hope it brings out all the best things for myself and for the people involved.maybe our paths aren't meant to cross anymore.when something in life gives you more pain than ease,you just gotta find the courage to let go.i have faith that Allah s.w.t has something way better up in store for me in the future.still a long journey.i want to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Don't Hold Your Breath by Nicole Scherzinger

read the underlined words CAREFULLY.

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

I was under your spell for such a long time couldn't break the chains
You played with my heart tore me apart withall your lies and games
It took all the strength I had but I crawled up on my feet again
Now you’re trying to lure me back but no those days are gone my friend
I loved you so much that I thought that someday you could change
But all you brought me was a heart full of pain

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath eh eh

I was worried about you but you never cared about me none
You took my money and I know that you, you could kill someone
I gave you everything but nothing was ever enough
You were always jealous over such crazy stuff

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath

Move on don’t look back
I jumped off a train running off the tracks
Your day is gone face the facts
A bad movie ends and the screen fades to black
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back
You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Circle The Drain by Katy Perry

this song is for YOU. 

This is the last time you say,
After the last line you break,
It's not even a holiday,
Nothing to celebrate.
You give a hundred reasons why,
And you say you're really gonna try.
If I had a nickel for everytime,
I'd overbank.

Thought that I was the exception,
I could have rewrite your addiction,
You could've been the greatest,
But you'd rather get wasted.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking' mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You say you have to write your rhymes,
Whatever helps you sleep at night
You've become what you despise,
A stereotype
You think you're so rock and roll,
But you're really just a joke.

Had the world in the palm of your hands,
But you fucking choked
Should've been my team mate,
Could've changed your fate,
You say that you love me,
You won't remember in the morning.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.

stupid.

i'm tired of being treated like a fool.

i'm tired of not feeling feelings i should feel.

i'm tired of people stepping all over me.

i'm tired of giving people the wrong impression.
seriously tired of being fed shit.

Congratulations I Hate You by Alesana

lagu ini sangat sesuai dinyanyikan kepada orang yang sering menyusahkan hidup kita.sekian.

No one ever said that life was fair, and I'm not saying that it should be
So knowing that you are where you want to be, and I'm not, comes as no surprise
But don't expect me to be happy for you
And don't smile at me and tell me things will work out for me too
I don't want your pity
I hate your pity

Taste your vanity and its sweet bitterness
As you hide behind your veil of my stolen hopes and lost dreams...
...I watched you steal my thoughts and had to see you smile
...You took them all...

As you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I'll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

Swallow your pride

Beg me to make this easier and listen to my hopeless cries

Suffer alone in emptiness
I lust to see you swallowed by the mess that you left in your wake
Disgust lies deep within your empty gaze

Beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares into your meaningless eyes

My envy can't describe how I loathe you for having all the stars
Leaving my eyes to marvel the sky knowing it should be mine
Yet it's you I see wasting the dream that only I deserve
I'll tear off your face to see your smile

As you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I'll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

Swallow your pride

Beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares into your meaningless eyes

different environment.

spending three months with a group of people who tell different kinds of jokes from the jokes the circle of people i usually hangout with tell, tell stories in ways so different than people my age do and do things in ways that are usually out of my norm gave me an insight on what it's like to be around mature people.people who couldn't care less about stuff so frivolous and petty.people with lives that revolve around work and married life.people who actually earn their own money and know how to spend it properly.people who think far into the future and much wiser.that's where i'm hoping to be headed.

words i want to hear.

i want my husband to sing this to me and ACTUALLY mean it.yes i am being demanding.a girl can dream right ?  hehe.

"i'll be there when your heart stops beating.

i'll be there when your last breath's taken away.

in the dark when there's no one listening.

in the times when we both get carried away.."

:)

the end.

it's been awhile since the two of us talked.

about a week since the day that you walked.

knowing things would never be the same.

with your empty heart and mine full of pain.

so explain to me how we came to this ?

we were sitting with our backs against the world.

saying things we thought but never heard.

who would have thought it would end up like this ?

everything we talked about is gone.

the only chance we have of moving on 

was trying to take it back before it all went wrong.

there was a time that we'd stay up all night.

best friends talking till the daylight.

took the joys alongside the pain.

with not much to lose but so much to gain.

we were thinking we would never be apart.

with your name tattooed across my heart.

who would have thought it would end up like this ?

conversations i'll remember.

i think i'm the only one who gets it.sorry if you don't. :P

"bila gaduh dengan adik aku orang kata macam anjing dengan kucing.yang aku tau kucing.biar dia jadi anjing"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"ko kata adik aku comel ? hidung dah la kembang.yang hidung kembang tu ikut Uncle.Uncle hidung kembang.adik beradik aku semua kulit biasa je.aku ikut Aunty.Aunty kulit putih."
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"hang degree.aku sekolah pondok ja"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"Aini Mayuni.Aini wo yao wo yao" *sing song voice*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

*imitates the conversation between Abg Lan and Abg Din had while shaking hands after my shabu-shabu farewell dinner*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"ni semua Hantu Gigi punya pasal"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"kenapa Baba call ? Siapa meninggal ?"
-question mark.

"jangan cakap 40 kali.nanti jadi doa tau"
-i said this.

aku rasa dah lebih dah 40 kali. *chants words 40 times*
-the reply i from saying what i said.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

huk huk huk huk huk *imitates Abg Lan laughing*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"weh pak arab ni pandang-pandang hang.habislah hang"
-scary.

"dengarlah lagu Melayu.asyik dengar lagu Mat Salleh je"
-perli.

"mula-mula sekolah TLDM darjah 1 sampai 6.then pindah KL.sekolah kat Seksyen 5 Wangsa Maju yg depan Carrefour tu.umur 16 tahun pindah Australia setahun.then balik Lumut balik.family ada pindah Sabah lepas tu tapi tak ikut"
-cerita hidup.

"Hang ni elok aku panggil Aini FB"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*siapa tah tabur stapler dalam rambut Abg Is?*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"cuba ko tengok muka dia betul-betul.macam Mawi kan ?"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"ada ke Mawi.bagi la Brad Pitt ke"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"ya Allah ko xtau ke tu farewell dinner ko ? ko ni mmg mat lampir la !"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"oii orang penat2 je tampal suka2 je nak cabut !"
- sticker kereta.

*angkat wiper depan belakang dan bukak empat-empat pintu*
- routine wajib Muzhafar dan Suffian hari-hari.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*balas dendam*
-Muzhafar {check} Suffian {check}

"hang ni suka minum air sejuk eh ? tak elok la"
- doctor.

"kamu nak duk seblah tunang kamu si Hazim ni je ye ?"
-bila pulak aku bertunang ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"ha xkan tu pun xtau ?! aku katok kepala sekor2 !"
-sorry Mr Shariff.

"anak pegawai Navy.biasalah."
-dammit.HAHAHAHAHAH.

"siapa ada Avo ? pinjam Avo"
-ayat typical.

*tengok dengan muka serious dan ganas*
-ui sccccaaaarrrrryyyyyy.HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

*cerita Pak Rashid kena tahan imigresen Langkawi*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"hang tau x cite kura-kura dan arnab ?"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.bodoh.

"bila bawak awek p kapal sume kerumun.kalau kami datang sorang pun tak peduli"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"Naufal ada mama baru"
-bingai.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"Mugabe tu kan Presiden Zimbabwe"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"Santa Claus sudah mariiiii"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"ko ni badan kurus keding tapi makan kalah Wan Lebor"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*hands Abg Wan Lebor an advertisement*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"Bagi kt Aini.ckp kt dia Abg Muz bagi"
-the same advertisement as above.HAHAHAHAHA.

"Lima belas ribu cukup ?"
-erk ?

"kami panggil dia Badut Kepala Dongga.ikan emas kan ada dua jenis.satu kepala biasa.lagu satu kepala dongga.ha Is yang tu la"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"dok dok dok dok dok aihhh"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"cepat la isap rokok tu.aku nak tengok.dari td duk beria gulung"
-HAHAHA.

"ni bukan bau rokok dah.ni bau colok !"
-HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"aku bengang betul dgn Amran ni.umur dah nak dekat 30.tp macam budak2"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH.kesian abg amran.his height or attitude ?

"Maaaaaaabbbbuuuujjjiiii !!"
-HAHAHAHAHAHA.

"weh satay aku mana !?"
-HAHAHAHAHA.sorry Abg Pian.

"parpun parpun !"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Abg Madi's nickname given by Abg Lan.

*Mr Letchu spray telinga Abg Amran dgn angin*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

"oiii bodohhh !!!"
-Abg Amran's reaction.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*abg Madi bosan takde kerja,sambung spray angin dengan cable sleeving paaaaaaannnjang dan spray telinga Abg Muz*
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"hang xdak kerja la tu ! Peklaq !"
-Abg Muz's reaction.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"hang ni kacau daun la orang nak dating."
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"nanti ko bawak BMW esok bila nampak Abg Lan bwk motor ko jangan la spray Abg Lan dgn air pulak"
-never.ever.

"siapa la nak bagi saya BMW Abg Lan oiii ?"
-my reaction.

"hang beli la sendiri mengada nak orang kasi pulak."
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.Abg Muz emo.

"correct correct correct"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"huh.ayat artis."
-HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

"Balan Balan Balan"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

"biaq p kt depa.depa dulu mandi swimming pool sama2 dari kecik"
-HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH.

*amek spray angin dan spray muka Aini*
-i'm always a victim of the air hose.HAHAHA.

"Abg Mokhtar.eh.salah.Encik Mokhtar"
-HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH.tersasul.

"hang panggil aku abang,anak aku sebaya dgn hang tau dak?!"
-HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHA.sorry la encik mokhtar.

"Haha saja je nak uji"
-sengal.

"ingat orang hamster ke nak buat uji kaji ?"
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

this list will be updated from time to time.

Violence by Blink 182

6 bottles went down the drain,
one hours a waste of time,
I'd ask if you feel the same,
still pushin that chance to try,
your breath in this cool room chill,
long hair that blows side to side,
you speak and make time stand still,
and each time you walk right on by

Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me, forever and after.

Can't count all the eyes that stare,
can't count all the things they see,
she kills with no life to spare,
just victims are left to bleed,
one drink and the pain goes down,
soft shadows lay by her feet,
lay soft as you slowly drown,
lay still as you fall asleep.
Fall asleep.

Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me, forever and after.
(And after and after and after)

Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me
Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me
Like violence you kill me
Like violence

Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me, forever and after.
Like violence you have me, forever, and after
Like violence you kill me, forever and after. 

epitome

all of a sudden it's cold and we're falling apart.

no please don't leave me alone in the dark.

thing i'll never say.

if i could say what i wanna say,

i'd say i wanna blow you away.

be with you every night.

am i squeezing you too tight ?

if i could see what i wanna see,

i wanna see you go down on one knee.

marry me today.

guess i'm wishing my life away.

with these thing i'll never say.

Terrified by Katharine McPhee and Zachary Levi

You by the light is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time and the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only

I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean it 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever I'm without you

You said it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
I'm at the edge of my emotions
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life 

uneven.

when a heart breaks no it don't break even.

i'm not.

i'm not a good friend.

i'm not a good girl friend.

i'm not good daughter.

i'm not a good girl.

i'm not suicidal.

MTU Services (Malaysia) Sdn. Bhd.

back row from left : Encik Yamin, Abg Muzhafar (Muz), Fendi, Encik Mokhtar, Abang Humaizi (AG), Mr Letchu, Abg Suffian (Pian), Abg Sabaruddin (Din)

middle row from left : Encik Jamal, Abg Alyezan (Wan Lebor), Saiful, Abg Ahmad Shafarin (Mat), Encik Hanapi, Abg Firdaus, Hazim, Encik Anuar, Abang Asri, Abg Hafiz (Bob), Encik Shariff

front row from left : Abg Roslan (Lan),Encik Kamarul,Encik Ramli,Abg Asmadi (Madi),Abg Rashid,Abg Iskandar (Is)

the whole Control and Automation department.

with a heavy heart,

 i'll be leaving my workplace for the past 3 months this friday.

thank you for all the knowledge.

thank you for the memories.

terima kasih abang-abang dan encik-encik yang sangat baik.

intersection.

i'm at an intersection.

i'm lost.

i'm scared.

i don't know which road to take.

a right turn takes me to the most familiar place,

but with roads full of obstacles.

a left turn leads me to a strange world.

the roads far less bumpy.
i need a map.

i need some guidance.

to show me where to go.

oh i am so scared to lose something familiar.