thoughts.

1. listening to bill kaulitz sing makes me love the german language even more.
2. who is bill kaulitz?google it creeps!
3. when u have done so,please do not contradict me when i say he is extremely handsome.yes his hair is like a lion's mane and he looks like a girl.somehow i have a thing for dudes like that.hahah.
4. beauty lies on the inside right?a good heart is what matters. =)
5. blogs are for self expression.if u dont like it then DONT read it.but i find it weird when people use blogs to diss and fight with other people.
6. listening to loud music every night is a necessity for me.if not,i die of dehydration.
7. tomorrow is a holiday.sleepy.but i cant sleep.so i am opting to sleep as late as possible.
   
8. im happy with my life now.but i would be way happier if that certain someone didn't walk out of my life.
9. looking forward to my UTP trip next week.sweet.
10. my way of avoiding heartache?turning a blind eye and ear to the particular source of heartache.
11. listening to songs is a good way to learn a language.komm mal her.komm start die maschine.hey du kleiner adroid.lass uns laufen.see?im learning deutsch already.all thanks to tokio hotel's Humanoid Deutsch Edition.
    
12. everything i write here will prolly be on my twitter.haha.
13. facebook is boring.
14. two things i find hot : lefties and twins.
15. most played song on my playlist : Welcome To Oblivion by Madina Lake.
16. IN.DESPERATE.NEED.OF.TOPUP.
17. wish i had lots of money.can pay off my loan and buy an audi TT coupe.sweet.
18. i would love the next guy that comes long in a heartbeat.ONLY IF he can accept me like this.but i dont think any guy can tolerate me.haha.
19. i need to learn to be less stuborn.my best friend always tells me that im stubborn.sigh.
20. told u.everything that happens has a reason.Allah is great in EVERY way.
21. uniten's internet is slower than a snail pulling an oil vessel.
    
22. dumb bacterias attacking my throat.i wanna murder u one by one.
23. so many projects this semester.three in total.numec.emd.islamic 3.
24. i wish i was still a baby.all i would have to do is sleep,cry,poop and drink milk all day.
25. i love milk seriously.like LOVE.every night before bed,i have to have a glass of milk.
26. i dont understand why people bother to have plastic surgery.why go through so much pain only to look uglier in the end?
27. i need to stop talking about people and get a life.
28. its almost three a.m.what have i achieved so far today?absolutely nothing.hmm.productive.
29. i thought he changed his caller ringtone for fun.but he actually "..used to be lovedrunk but now he's hungover.he loves me forever.forever is over.." i was too blind to see i guess.funny.nak gelak pun ada. =))
30. i had my worst show ever just now!i feel like jumping off a cliff.hahahahahahaahaha.everything went so wrong.shall not repeat the same mistake in UTP.
    
31. number 31 already?wow.i am super talkative.haha.
32. learning to be cold hearted again.im sick and tired of being so jelly like.
    
33. there MAYBE some feelings involved now (highlight on that maybe word ye.im still unsure of my feelings.its all so confusing).but im comfy with the way things are between us.please dont change anything.i dont wanna make the same mistake with u the way i did with other people.
34. having a boyfriend doesn't mean dropping all ur stuff behind leaving them strewn all over the floor and running off into neverland.i learned my lesson.
35. im sleeping with my window open tonight.global warming taking its toll tonight.its shit hot.i dont care if i get sick in the morning.haha.
36. i love listening to That Day by Tokio Hotel.the lyrics suit my life well.."everybody says time heals the pain but i've been waiting forever.that day never came"..tak habis2 Tokio Hotel kan?sigh.
37. i love dancing.when im dancing,i feel like im in a different world.i feel like im all alone in my bubble.no one to disturb or harm me.
38. im not pretending to be happy about anything.i really am happy.especially the part where my best friends have my back even when i treated them like shit.i owe them my life.
39. the only thing im sad about however is u.ur the one part of my life that im grieving about.even if u made me sad,doesn't mean i have to be sad about everything else and stop living right?almost every fraction of my life is ok.except the part where there's supposed to be u.ur not there.so only ur part isnt ok and is missing.
40. time to sleep princess.almost four a.m already. =)

roger and oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttt!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Late Night.

I am supposed to be in bed right now.BUT.i feel a sudden urge of posting something in my blog tonight.last weekend i was so damn busy.my saturday and sunday was fully occupied.i didn't have any time for myself.after walking this earth for nearly twenty one years,only now i realize that im actually a loner.don't get me wrong people.i absolutely LOVE having my friends around me.i love hanging out with my friends.it's just that at any given time of the day,i somehow need time to be alone.all alone.just me myself and i.and a good book.and some loud music please.like right now.ahh.i feel so damn peaceful.the same way i feel when i look up into the sky and see those shimmering stars.haha.nini?jiwang?nope.unlikely. =)

anyway.as i mentioned before,my saturday was occupied with my religion class's community service.we initially signed up to go to the cemetry (creepy but fun!) and pull out weeds but had to switch places a few days before saturday.we ended up painting an apartment somewhere in kajang.who's apartment?well.surprise.surprise.naz and daus's apartment.hahaha.come to think of it,it IS kinda funny.daus painted his own house!daus could've ditched his paint brush and scraper and skipped off home to have a good night's sleep. =)) on our way to the apartment,we came across naz's car parked under a tree.the infamous jennifer.hahaha.see.told u.it wasn't like a community service at all.it felt like we were doing our two buddies a gigantic favor by beautifying their house.all in all,i had a VERY tiring day.but fun.

the one thing i was proud of that day was i didn't get any paint on myself!usually when i paint,i get like these big blotches of paint on my face,arms,shirt and somehow on my tummy.but this time i didn't.awww.someone learned how to paint properly!soo shuweet! *clap clap*

b the w.from next semester onwards,i vow to not register for 8am classes.TOO early for the likes of me.i seriously CANNOT wake up that early.i feel like an underfed zombie with panda circles under my eyes every time i go to my 8am EMD class.i feel like glueing toothpicks on my eyes to stop them from drooping every time i hear the words rotor,stator and transformers.

roger and out.

i need to sleep.

i have a class at 8am tomorrow.

shitness right?

Song Choice 2.

im the kind of person who likes a song based on its lyrics.i dont depend solely on the melody alone.the more beautiful the lyrics are,the better.i love songs with lyrics that have a deep meaning.straight,sweet,direct words catches my heart too at times.like this song.Smile by Uncle Kraker.the lyrics are SUPER sweet.cooooooooooooomel sgt.ni memang lagu orang yang tgh dilamun cinta tahap dewa langit petala ke seratus.wish someone sang me this song till i fall asleep! =)

"You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile..."

Song Choice 1

i am a complete music freak.i seriously CANNOT live without music.so.since i have a blog,im gonna post my personal song choices every once in awhile.it is not a recommendation to anyone (mainly cuz my song choices are weird!).its plainly for fun.my parents often say what i listen to is "noise".but to most people,they define my song choices as "lagu untuk orang orang pekak" or "lagu tiada halatuju dalam hidup" or "lagu untuk pesakit jiwa" or "lagu untuk jiwa kacau".but hey.every one is entitled to their own opinions.peace. =) every song has a story behind it.some i will tell.some i wont.to me,every lyric every word has a certain meaning that applies to me or some other person.i love all sorts of songs from every kind of genre.my song choices can be pretty random at times.but i specialize in rock mostly.rock suits my soul well.dance and techno comes in second.nice.

my first song choice for this blog is "Inevita" by Jeopardice.this song is in fact recommended by my significant other.thank u for telling me about this song mister significant other!i owe u one. =) its a nice song.all laid back and soothing eventhough the guy sounds funny and kinda nasal.suitable for the hopeless romantics (too bad im not one.hahaha.im more like hopeless minus the romantic).

"have u ever felt that when u look at me
u feel so nervous?
that's what i felt when i first looked at u
ur just too gorgeous
im so glad that this is true
im so glad that im with u
girl u make my life complete

baby its love
baby its love
baby its love

now that i've found u girl
im never letting go
so i wrote this song to let u know
im so glad that this is true
im so glad that im with u
girl u make my life complete

baby its love
baby its love
baby its love.."

lessons.

today i learned a few things.

first.it pays to be patient.sometimes,when things go wrong or when u lose something that u once had or something goes the complete opposite direction from what u want it to be,u need to be patient.very very very very very patient.incidentally,i am not in a place to talk.cuz i am not the biggest fan of patience.i lose my patience even at the slightest things and i have anger management problems.but i do have the patience for certain things.things that i know i wont get or things that i cant have my way.and so i was patient.idiot or not,i waited patiently.things did work all right.well at least for me.so it really really pays to be patient.totally worth it people.

second.october people are very secretive and private.this is my personal opinion.maybe it applies to certain october people only.they kinda clam up when i ask something private.or am i being too kepochi?or am i asking the wrong things?hehe.

third.things happen for a reason.i mean.really really for a reason.semua benda ada hikmah.right?

roger and out laa.mau mandi.malas mau tulis lagi.hehe.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

happy chinese new year to all my chinese friends out there!hope u guys have a good year and future!gong xi gong xi!ok.i am being SUPER excited and enthusiastic.sue me ok?forgive me people.im sugar high.im always sugar high lately. =P nothing much.its just that im VERY happy to be at home this time.my 1st and 2nd sister's family are all at home with me now.kaknina too.so my house is as crowded as a chicken farm with the little kids running around,rummaging thru closets for toys,yelling and screaming over spilled juice and crumbs of cookies.my house isn't that big.i mean.it isn't mansion like or fancy.my house isnt the kind of house that makes ur jaw drop to the floor everytime u see it.but hey!its soooooo full of love that im thankful for it!Alhamdulillah for my fabulous family and my humble home! =) even my MASSIVE workload cant interfere with my holiday spirit.im so pumped up!Allah is fair.He balances my life with every element : pain and joy.u lose one and u gain one.nice eh?

having a small get together with my family and my neighbour's family tonight.kinda like a bbq party.will be fun!will eat lots tonight!will get fat in mere seconds!ok.the last one was again an exaggeration.again.sue me.hahaha.

oh.last thursday i went out with yana,dueha and zym.THAT was indeed fun.i laughed myself stupid and hoarse around them.hahaha.haven't met dueha in like..a year i think!he's still the same guy.only with more facial hair.and taller.or is it me that's shrinking into a pea pod?soooobb. T.T we met up at the curve for dinner.i got to eat my favorite meatballs at ikea!i cherished every single bite oh.sedaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappp!i would marry those meatballs if i could!marry em and have little meatball babies!hahaha.after that we went to kota damansara's uptown for a nightcap and supper.then we decided to call it a day.dueha had to work the next morning.

speaking of dueha.while eating at ikea,there was this chick staring the hell out of him.i mean.she STARED real hard at dueha.before she went home,she dropped by at our table.she handed her business card to dueha and told him to come by her office.shites!she wants dueha to attend a casting in shah alam to become a model for an ad.cool right?not everyday u get to hangout and eat meatballs at ikea with a model.hehe.bangga oh ada kawan yang MAYBE bakal jadi model.

signing off people.i need to grill some chicken tonight!

roger and out!

dumdeedums.

i have not updated my blog in like..years!exaggerating as always nini.haha.eventhough i've been extremely busy,i did online much.but i kinda missed out on updating my blog cuz im always busy doing something else.and that something else is always twitter or facebook.these two things are seriously bad for me along with the sims 3 and artificial sugar.they make me stay up late.they make me procastinate on work.they even make happy me in an imaginary kind of way (try playing the sims 3 up to a point where u get married,own a three storey mansion,have a buttload of cash,have a wonderful rockstar husband,a son and twin daughters.how can u NOT imagine things and berangan?sheesh.).these things should be banned!at least for me.teehee.self control.and discipline.that is what i need.nini nini.ur doing badly on ur own. *sigh*

yesterday was mummy's birthday.man i love mum alot.i called her on my way to class at 9am thinking i was the first to wish her.but my brother in law beat me to it.he called at 7am.kambeng tol laa.

but anyway,im supposed to be happy it was mum's birthday yesterday.in a way,it made me kind of sad.because it was mum's sixty third birthday.i wish people would count age backwards.that way,everyone gets younger instead of older.come to think of it,i have only had twenty one birthdays with mum.sixty three minus twenty one.that's fourty two years of her life i missed.birthdays depresses me.huhu.but anyway mum.i know ur not gonna read this.but im writing it for u anyway.happy birthday.may Allah bless u always.semoga panjang umur.nnt mummy boleh teman nini sampai nini besar.sorry i let u down in so many ways.love u lots mummy! <3

mum texted me in class yesterday after i called her.she's kinda retro so she's not very good with handphones.plus,she can't see that well.i know it took her so much trouble to type these two words and to actually send it to me : "sayang nini".penat tahan nangis dalam kelas thermo semlm.two simple words.it meant so much to me.it touched my heart.

besides mum's birthday,yesterday was also supposed to be my 2nd anniversary if i was still with ker0.sadly im not.so no anniversary for me or him!i thought i would be ok.but i got caught up in my emotions after awhile.so again,i was a bit depressed.i cried a bit here and there.hahah.but then later that night,i got better.went to mines with sue,alin and nazrin.sue wanted to buy some eyeliner.nazrin wanted to buy his game cd.i wanted to get earphones for my mp3.we bought our stuff and grabbed some dinner at Carl's Junior.i ate chilli cheese fries.mengidam.hehe.nothing beats the feeling of eating good food and hanging out with your best buddies.

okay.there goes my one hour break.going down to COE to have lunch and get some work done with my groupmates for the Numec project.

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF EATING CUPCAKES.bodoh la.

roger and out!