Your Surrender by Neon Trees

my current favorite song.been repeating this song the whole day today.i think it's a very cute song. :)

I got close
To your skin
While you were sleeping
I taste the
Salt on
Your hands
I reached out
To touch you
The morning light disarms you
Won't you let me
In?

Ohhhhhhh
How long till your surrender?
Ohhhhhhh
How long till your surrender?
It's a long way
For heart break
Let your heart wait and bleed
Ohhhhhhh

How long till your surrender to me?
I've become your shadow
I'd love, but don't know
How to
I'm always lost for words
You look like a thousand suns
I wanna be the only one
Left when your day is done

I can't have you close
So I become a ghost
And I watch you

I watch you
Maybe if you stay
We could die this way
But I won't stop you
I won't stop you

dinners attended whilst interning.

again,i don't have a good camera.

so paham-paham je la. 

click the photos to enlarge.

you'll see their faces better.

it's only a bunch of pictures of dudes around plates of food.

nothing interesting anyway.

haha.

saja-saja upload.

rindu kawan-kawan MTU.

Encik Ikhlas and Encik Saiful Anuar's Farewell Dinner @ Bakau D'Muara Lumut

(L-R) Abg Asri,Abg Lan,Mr. Lim,Encik Kamarul

(L-R) Encik Mokhtar,Abg Bob

 (L-R) Abg Muz,Hazim,Saiful

 (L-R) Encik Ramli,Abg AG,Abg Is,Abg Muz

 (L-R) Saiful,Fendy,Abg Pian,Jamil

Me and Min ! :)

My Farewell Dinner (according to Abg Lan) :)) @ Shabu-shabu

 (L-R) Encik Ramli,Abg Bob,Abg Bob,Abg Asri

 (L-R) Abg Madi,Abg Lan,Saiful

 Me and Encik Kamarul

 (L-R) Abg Rashid,Encik Shariff,Abg Din,Encik Mokhtar,Encik Yamin,Encik Napi

 (L-R) Abg Pian,Bab,Jamil,Fendy,Abg Muz,Abg Is,Hazim,Abg AG

 Me,Bab and Encik Ramli

Abg Muz and me

clearer version.

the clearer version of the picture of the Control and Automation Department (minus me.sobb sobb)

it's always like that with life.

lain yang aku nak,lain yang aku dapat.

it's always like that with life.

sometimes the thing that i want is either out of reach or bad for me.

so Allah gives me other options instead.

these options i may not necessarily like or even consider as options,

but in the end these other options may be a start to something better.

yelah

kita suka benda tu tapi kita tak dapat.

instead,other things get shoved in our face.

kadang-kadang susah jugak nak terima.

either way

you gotta have faith.

it's like that with me now.

finding faith is hard.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

after being cooped up inside the house for so long,i treated myself to an outing with my best friend who happens to be the first in my circle of friends that i met since coming back.

finally someone of my age to socialize with.

i'm the one loaded with the Captain America spirit but my friend was the one who ended up ordering the Super Soldier Sundae (above ; left).i ended up ordering something else.HAHA.

the sword of Gryffindor

long story short,

after stuffing our faces with ice cream we went to watch the movie above.

all this while i have been the biggest fan of the books but not the movies.

i watched Goblet of Fire and hated it.

mainly because i read the book, let my imagination wander to the farthest land

only to be disappointed

because the movie didn't live up to my expectations (in this case,the fragments of my imagination).

considering this one being the last installment to the Potter trilogy (and the fact that they changed directors),

it officially became a must watch for me.

i watched part 1 of the Deathly Hallows ; loved it.

part 2 ; loved it even more.

finally something that lived up to my expectations !

yeah they did add and subtract a few parts here and there that wasn't and was in the book,

but it made the story seem right.

the last war between the good guys and the bad guys ? 

super emotional.

i even had a hanky handy all through the movie.

loser sangat kan ? 

hehe.

SPOILER ALERT.

what made the story so sad was when Harry found out that Snape and Lily were best friends since they were little kids and Snape had been in love with Lily (Harry's mom) all this while.

Snape resented James (Harry's dad) because he felt like James had taken Lily away from him.

so dear comrades

thus ends the Potter trilogy.

no more books or movies to look forward to after this.

boo hoo.

roger and out.

p.s : menyesal aku marah dia kelmarin. T.T

an evening nursing my migraine.

bila saya migraine, si paw gemuk pun migraine.

Kiki.

 meet Kiki ; she is a persian with the fattest paw EVARRR

destroying my laptop ; her life's aim

meet Patrick the dog

Kiki's got issues with Patrick.see ?

migraines don't rock.

i just realized i haven't blogged much this month.

it's not that i don't want to.

it's just that i don't have much to say.

about everything.

oh well i guess i have nothing to complain about lately.

EXCEPT.

the fact that i've been stuck in KL for nearly a week now.

still haven't had the chance to go back to Manjung yet.

which is bummin the EFFIN HELL out of me.

i've been looking forward to meeting my girlfriends, hanging out and checkin out that new donuts place.

apparently i'm supposed to stay here and baby sit my nephew until he gets a new maid.

i can't afford to not get angry.

 i'll be in KL for a whole year come September so why the hell should i spend more time here ?

i miss home.

i wanna spend time at home.

i'm just plain angry.

and this migraine isn't helping things.

roger and out.

p.s : i've been missing out on a lot while being stuck here.including MTU's barbecue night and a whole lot of other things.this seriously SUCKS.

shots.

i don't have a good camera so the pictures aren't very clear.

a little insight on my Umrah trip.

Nabawi Mosque ; east entrance

Mum walking outside Nabawi Mosque ; those shades are opened at dawn and closed at dusk.

outside the women's entrance

Nabawi Mosque ;  a little after Subuh

Tamar tree ; the first time i've ever seen one

 Tamar of various kinds

 Uhud Hill ; where the Uhud War took place.

 outside Masjidil Haram ; Babussalam entrance.

 a little before Asar

 the view inside Masjidil Haram after Isyak 

 bird's eye view ; taken from the eleventh floor of Zam Zam Tower

 Saie ; Marwah to Safa

inside Hijr Ismail 

the Kaabah

 Safa Hill ; the reason they built a fence around the hill is because some radical Muslims would come and worship this hill.

 Mummy on Marwah Hill

 Baba in Tana'im

 one of the earliest Qurans compiled by Saidina Uthman bin Affan ; see if you can read it.

the spot where Prophet Muhammad's house used to be which is right beside the Masjidil Haram ; the house has been replaced with a library

Jabal Rahmah ; the place where Prophet Adam met Hawa after being separated for almost 200 years

would you just look at him ? so cute in his ihram.he's turkish by the way. :D

Zam Zam water containers

meet Aishah

The best 12 days of my life...

Happened while i was in Madinah and Makkah.my advice to you guys out there ? If you have enough money,go for your umrah/hajj as soon as possible.there's so much to explore there.physically and spiritually.so much to do.so much to learn.so much to see.so much to feel.don't wait till you're old.your energy to maximize your ibadah will be limited by then.no matter where i go after this,i know it won't be the same as going to Madinah and Makkah.i even considered intentionally missing the plane home and moving there permanently.those places left a deep impact in my heart.i went through the twelve most peaceful days i have ever had in my life.otak rasa ringan je.tak fikir apa-apa.hati pun rasa happy je sepanjang masa.it was like living in a bubble with only me inside of it. (at one point however someone pricked that bubble with a safety pin.mana aku tak hangin ? =.=) even huge problems seemed like a small matter.wish i was there right now.

Fast.

Things in my life have been moving so swiftly that it all seems like a blur.things involving work,studies and my personal life.some things remain the same.but changes have surfaced for the most parts.these things have affected me spiritually and emotionally.with all of it happening in a very fast progression,i'm beginning to stand up for myself in many ways.a realization came upon me that i can't go around living like i used to forever.i used to be scared of losing all the familiar things around me even when those things brought me nothing but negative impact,sin and misery.somehow now aku belajar redha.hilang pun hilang lah.Allah will replace it with something better.i just know it.

yawn.

i'm like super tired of trying to convince you dude.so i'll just shut up and nod at everything u say.yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.so now what ? you're such a jackass you wouldn't listen to a word i say anyway.saya menerima segala fitnah anda dengan hati yang SANGAT terbuka. :))

limits.

there are only so few things in life that you can tolerate for a certain length of time and then eventually you would get fucked up when the same thing happens over and over again.i used to think i would be able to tolerate these things at least for a little while longer but being around a different crowd made me sit back and think why would i have to tolerate this immature jackassery that's been messing with my mind and heart when there are so many other things i should be doing with my life ? it wouldn't be a issue if it didn't cost me any problems.but lately it has been starting to be a pain in the ass.and it's just one time too many.back then i would just let people walk all over me and swallow whatever shit filled cupcake they feed me.i was so far from walking away.i didn't have this kind of courage before, to actually stand my ground, speak my mind and walk away.now that i do,i hope it brings out all the best things for myself and for the people involved.maybe our paths aren't meant to cross anymore.when something in life gives you more pain than ease,you just gotta find the courage to let go.i have faith that Allah s.w.t has something way better up in store for me in the future.still a long journey.i want to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Don't Hold Your Breath by Nicole Scherzinger

read the underlined words CAREFULLY.

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

I was under your spell for such a long time couldn't break the chains
You played with my heart tore me apart withall your lies and games
It took all the strength I had but I crawled up on my feet again
Now you’re trying to lure me back but no those days are gone my friend
I loved you so much that I thought that someday you could change
But all you brought me was a heart full of pain

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath eh eh

I was worried about you but you never cared about me none
You took my money and I know that you, you could kill someone
I gave you everything but nothing was ever enough
You were always jealous over such crazy stuff

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath

Move on don’t look back
I jumped off a train running off the tracks
Your day is gone face the facts
A bad movie ends and the screen fades to black
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back
You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Don’t hold your breath

You can’t touch me now there’s no feeling left
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath
What you did to me boy I can’t forget
If you think I’m coming back don’t hold your breath

Circle The Drain by Katy Perry

this song is for YOU. 

This is the last time you say,
After the last line you break,
It's not even a holiday,
Nothing to celebrate.
You give a hundred reasons why,
And you say you're really gonna try.
If I had a nickel for everytime,
I'd overbank.

Thought that I was the exception,
I could have rewrite your addiction,
You could've been the greatest,
But you'd rather get wasted.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking' mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You say you have to write your rhymes,
Whatever helps you sleep at night
You've become what you despise,
A stereotype
You think you're so rock and roll,
But you're really just a joke.

Had the world in the palm of your hands,
But you fucking choked
Should've been my team mate,
Could've changed your fate,
You say that you love me,
You won't remember in the morning.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.

You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.
Wanna be your lover, not your fucking mother.
Can't be your saviour, I don't have the power.
I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
Watch you circle the drain,
Watch you circle the drain.
You fall asleep during foreplay,
'Cause the pills you take, are more your forte.
I'm not sticking around to watch you go down.

stupid.

i'm tired of being treated like a fool.

i'm tired of not feeling feelings i should feel.

i'm tired of people stepping all over me.

i'm tired of giving people the wrong impression.
seriously tired of being fed shit.

Congratulations I Hate You by Alesana

lagu ini sangat sesuai dinyanyikan kepada orang yang sering menyusahkan hidup kita.sekian.

No one ever said that life was fair, and I'm not saying that it should be
So knowing that you are where you want to be, and I'm not, comes as no surprise
But don't expect me to be happy for you
And don't smile at me and tell me things will work out for me too
I don't want your pity
I hate your pity

Taste your vanity and its sweet bitterness
As you hide behind your veil of my stolen hopes and lost dreams...
...I watched you steal my thoughts and had to see you smile
...You took them all...

As you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I'll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

Swallow your pride

Beg me to make this easier and listen to my hopeless cries

Suffer alone in emptiness
I lust to see you swallowed by the mess that you left in your wake
Disgust lies deep within your empty gaze

Beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares into your meaningless eyes

My envy can't describe how I loathe you for having all the stars
Leaving my eyes to marvel the sky knowing it should be mine
Yet it's you I see wasting the dream that only I deserve
I'll tear off your face to see your smile

As you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I'll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

Swallow your pride

Beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares into your meaningless eyes

different environment.

spending three months with a group of people who tell different kinds of jokes from the jokes the circle of people i usually hangout with tell, tell stories in ways so different than people my age do and do things in ways that are usually out of my norm gave me an insight on what it's like to be around mature people.people who couldn't care less about stuff so frivolous and petty.people with lives that revolve around work and married life.people who actually earn their own money and know how to spend it properly.people who think far into the future and much wiser.that's where i'm hoping to be headed.

words i want to hear.

i want my husband to sing this to me and ACTUALLY mean it.yes i am being demanding.a girl can dream right ?  hehe.

"i'll be there when your heart stops beating.

i'll be there when your last breath's taken away.

in the dark when there's no one listening.

in the times when we both get carried away.."

:)

the end.

it's been awhile since the two of us talked.

about a week since the day that you walked.

knowing things would never be the same.

with your empty heart and mine full of pain.

so explain to me how we came to this ?

we were sitting with our backs against the world.

saying things we thought but never heard.

who would have thought it would end up like this ?

everything we talked about is gone.

the only chance we have of moving on 

was trying to take it back before it all went wrong.

there was a time that we'd stay up all night.

best friends talking till the daylight.

took the joys alongside the pain.

with not much to lose but so much to gain.

we were thinking we would never be apart.

with your name tattooed across my heart.

who would have thought it would end up like this ?